Come and sit with me

Last week, in honour of International Women’s Day, I posted on Facebook and offered free 1:1 sessions for two women who, for one reason or another, could not otherwise afford it. 

Life happens: We lose jobs, relationships end, we fall ill, we become single parents, we escape abusive situations or make bad financial decisions and struggle to keep our heads above economic water... I wanted to give back something small because life has happened to me too. It is not always easy and, regardless of what the New Age philosophy says, creating something amazing or focusing on manifesting a better life can feel like an impossible task if you are literally counting pennies and trying to prioritise between electricity bill and food. Double the worry if you have children. We need support to get there. We need to be seen and heard and feel a connection to something or someone.

So I offered those sessions and within a few minutes they were gone with several other messages waiting in my inbox describing a variety of challenges of human life. Some of the stories were heartbreaking. 

I went to bed grateful for  the trust these women showed by sharing their stories, but also sad because it feels really wrong that these amazing, strong, brave creatures who totally are the unsung heroines of this world cannot afford to pay for the support that they would need to regain focus and find hope. As an entrepreneur with a politically left-wing set of values this sits uneasy with me. Something needs to be done. None of these women were looking for a saviour. All of them just wanted someone to talk to, someone to connect with to be seen and heard and understood. (Of course there are free services, groups and alike but that’s another story.)

What my heart was, and still is, saying was this:

Come and sit with me. I cannot take away your pain but I am feeling it because I, too, have been broken and healing the deepest wounds will take the rest of this lifeftime. I know what it’s like to be broke and scared and ashamed because I am human. I cannot give you a solution -wish I could though- but I can tell you this: It WILL get better because life is ever alive, transforming and mysterious. Come and sit with me and let me hold space for your grief and worry. Share it. You are so brave. It WILL be ok.

So let’s sit together, metaphorically. Let’s hold space. Let’s see what unfolds. Let’s ask each other how we are, answer in our authenticity and take note to listen, really listen without rushing to talk about me, me, me. There’s time for that. Let’s refrain from giving unsolicited advice and trust the wisdom of human spirit. Let’s not judge so much.

And let’s see what unfolds.

Mili Kaikkonen