Happy thoughts

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These days everyone seems to be talking about the Law of Attraction and how the Universe responds to our thoughts and feelings by giving us exactly what we ask for. Some books and teachers say that the Universe does not know the difference between positive and negative thought patterns – it just responds to whatever vibe we happen to be giving out. ‘Be happy, think good thoughts, replace a negative emotion with a positive one’, they say, and you’ll then get whatever you want.

I agree with this outlook in principal, as my life so far has been a testament to the fact that impossible things are possible if you just trust and believe. However, faith alone is not enough – we need to be ready and willing to commit to ourselves and acknowledge the fact that sometimes change is scary, and there’s often quite a lot of work to do before we are ready to allow the good things into our lives. The Universe may bring us great love or prosperity, but if we have not worked on our self esteem or feelings of lack we may once again end up broken hearted and bankrupt.


Clients often tell me they’ve studied the Law of Attraction, made their vision boards, said their positive affirmations and tried to replace their negative thoughts with positive ones, but it’s not working. This has left them feeling like they’ve done something wrong, or that life is somehow against them. Frightened questions about bad karma or past deeds often follow.

This highlights the fundamental paradox around the New Age teachings about creating better lives for ourselves. Everyone knows love attracts love and trust attracts trust, but if we’re broken, traumatised and scared it often takes quite a lot more than a positive affirmation to change our experiences. In order to move forward we first need to accept where we are now – we need to work on accepting our pain, disbelief and wounds and meet them with compassion and understanding with appropriate support or even therapy, if needed . We need to forgive ourselves, or accept that we’re not quite ready to go there yet. Real change, manifestation and allowing in the good can only happen if we’ve come to terms with our incompleteness.

The Law of Attraction works and it’s powerful. However, it’s important not to forget we’re human and deal with human issues. The Law of Attraction is not about performance or good karma or bad karma and the Universe does not conspire on your behalf or against you. It simply does what it does perfectly. If everything happens for a reason, then our human struggle with letting in the good is also a part of it. Vision boards and affirmations are fantastic and powerful, but they’re not a shortcut to becoming whole, and on my opinion our greatest task here is become whole and authentic.

Accept where you are now, or if you cannot, then accept that you don’t accept yourself yet. That’s also okay.

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